It's interesting because I never really thought about it before I left home. I have realized that I didn't think about a lot of things until the time actually came. I consider both places home as I have spent an equal amount of time in the two cities. But it seems like whenever I'm in one, I terribly miss the other. We can't ever be happy with what we have, can we? I already know I'll miss Hong Kong the second I leave and the second I land, I will be planning my next trip out. It's predictable because it happens every time. If only the two places were closer to each other.. like San Francisco → Oakland or Hong Kong → Kowloon. A girl can dream..
It really hit me that I was homesick when I got off the bus today returning home. I didn't really have time to think about things like this since work took up 120% of my life. As I stepped off the bus and waited for the pedestrian light to change from red to green, it hit me. I don't have work tomorrow. Since today is Christmas Eve, tomorrow is Christmas day and I finally have a break from work. (Is it sad that all I want to do is sleep?) Having a break from work seems far-fetched and unreal. I walked across the street suddenly feeling lost and homesick.
Being by myself all the time is quite nice since I've always had somebody by my side all the time for the past four years. Especially in a busy city like Hong Kong, people are so busy rushing to work/home/school that nobody really notice that you're there. It gives me a lot of time to think about the possibilities of my future and to worry less (I know, how is that even possible). I have identified a huge problem that I desperately need to find a solution for-- living in the moment and enjoying it. I feel like I'm always thinking about what the next step is and anticipating that than enjoying what is in front of me. Who cares if it's old Asian ladies walking really slow blocking the entire road, I should probably find something to enjoy about those moments. The only downside of being by myself is when I think of random moments that makes me laugh out loud or when I start having conversations in my head and end up talking to myself (I swear I'm not crazy...)
On a lighter note (•⊙ω⊙•), this is probably holiday depression. It will eventually pass and I will be back to work in no time (not sure if that's a good thing or not..) 9gag definitely helps during times like this.
Anyways, I was definitely missing the freezing nights at the apartment last (or was the the one before last?) December, where my two favorite people were surrounding me on my bed watching Supernatural and eventually ending up getting a $100+ PG&E bill from our portable heaters. ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)
xoxoxoxo
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